4th Oct 2018

Silence and reflection within the divorce process


Marking Collaborative Family Law Week 2018, Berwins’ top rated family law team is exploring what journeying through the separation process can mean for separating couples.    



So far on our journey through the collaborative process we have talked a lot about talking.  What part does silence play?

Expect there to be silences. That is really contrary to the world we live in where everything is instantaneous and there is a constant search for faster and a pressure to fill the gaps.

Mediators and collaborative lawyers know that sometimes the best solutions come if you are prepared to make space and leave silence for thought.  The collaborative process is far superior to court in this respect where your lawyer or barrister has to speak; for you, against your ex.  Cross-examination?  Really?? At the end of a marriage.

Silence allows the opportunity for reflection.  Not all that has happened between you is bad – look at your great kids.  Silence allows you to reflect on what is difficult in the circumstances, not put everything onto your other half.

Silence affords the opportunity to look forward and plan.  Your future.  Your hopes.  Your new dreams.  And suddenly the light at the end of the tunnel seems a whole lot nearer.


Sarah Smith is a leading family lawyer and mediator. She is the only solicitor ranked as an “Eminent Practitioner” in industry guide Chambers and Partners and has been supporting separating couples for over 20 years.

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